From 2019 onwards
I want to capture a period of time in an image. And then connect to how I am feeling, what I am thinking or what is happening at that time. I want to reflect on where I am. The random scatter brain of thoughts. How my history affects what I photograph. To observe with sensitive eyes where I am. We don’t look at our surroundings enough.
I don't want to be here, I shouldn't be here. I want to be here. How did I get here. This carpet is so fucking red. It makes me want to follow it so I can see it end. I don't fit in here.
There is staircase, two staircases, metal ones going up and down and around. And a bridge and water. Like a labyrinth, merging together. I want to capture the whole thing in one image.
The plastic pig delicatessen. Like those plastic meals they display outside Japanese restaurants except this is supposed to be real food. The people at the delicatessen look like pigs. I hate these places, they make me angry.
I like this dark, cold, dirty car park. That's why there is nobody here. I feel safe and comfortable. More than if I was in an expensive hotel. But I do like beautiful places.
I just like shitty places too.
I walk alone in the warm nights. With no destination. I have no history here. I have a sense of fear, I like that feeling as it keeps me vigilant. A staircase leads up a dark block of flats.
I'm on the move, in a rush. Get out of my way you idiot. The londoner in me comes out. I weave through people anticipating their movements to benefit my route. My destination and speed in which I get there is more important than anyone else's. No it isn't.
At the end of this dark, cold street is saturday evening. I can see that feeling when people are out. When the night is young and you have no responsibilities. I feel sad and lonely as I know I cannot be part of it.
From here I can see up, down, through, out. I feel in control. I know where I am. I like going down more than going up. Why?
I Iike metal lines, construction and things working I can see. What I don't like is a lift that stinks of piss,
I am in a hurry because I am far away from home and it's getting dark. And I don't know this place.